The Creator of Animezin PH Shares His Personal Story
Fuegio, the creator of Animezin PH, opens up about his journey, blending his love for anime with personal experiences to inspire mental health awareness.
Written By: Fuegio Barrios
An anime-lover and a Mental Health Advocate.
Published: November 20, 2024
Last Updated: December 17, 2024
Introduction
Konnichiwa minna-san! Kamusta kayo?
Welcome to Animezin PH's Official (Personal) Blog! My name is Fuegio "Gio" Barrios! I am an author and the owner of Animezin PH; thisthis is my personal story.
The Otaku
As an author and the proud owner of Animezin PH, I have a deep love for anime, which has set the wheels of Animezin PH in motion.
Because of anime's various mesmerizing storytelling, captivating characters, and breathtaking animation, Anime has captured my heart, mind, and soul.
I believe that anime is more than entertainment or a pastime but it's a powerful medium that connects people from all walks of life, transcending borders and cultures.
The Human Being
Just like you, I, too, am a human being.
I am someone filled with flaws and imperfections. Someone who goes through struggles and challenges.
But because of these worldly pains, I learn how to move forward and take the first steps into a more powerful future.
Though I still take steps backward from time to time, I'll never forget that I can always look forward and see what's ahead of me.
Let me tell you about my journey of healing and how Animezin PH came to be.
** Trigger Warning **
This post contains triggering words. If you are feeling uneasy, you can choose to stop reading this post.
My Painful Past
In 2020, I lay on my soft bed, in the dark room, of my apartment. The sun couldn't reach the side of the only window in my room, because it was covered by another building.
It was another cold day in Baguio City, Philippines. I was alone, lonely, heartbroken, and painful triggering thoughts filled my head. I hurt myself continuously, and all I did was cry.
I was rescued by my family a few days later. They brought me to Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines, where I currently reside.
Professional Mental Health Diagnoses
In 2021, I was then diagnosed by a psychiatrist. I was first diagnosed with Depression because I experienced something more than a "normal" kind of sadness. It was painful. I had lost interest in the things I used to love and enjoy. I hurt myself, and I felt as if the weight of the world was on me.
After a few more sessions with my doctor, I was professionally diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, which I will be further explaining in this post.
Later on, as I complained to my psychiatrist about the distressing feeling of having breasts as I am assigned-female-at-birth, my psychiatrist told me I had Gender Dysphoria.
Lastly, I was diagnosed with C-PTSD. This is a mental health illness associated with long-term trauma. (Check out our article about the Wind Breaker anime displaying 4 Painful C-PTSD symptoms through Sakura Haruka to learn more about C-PTSD.)
Fuegio Barrios
4 Painful C-PTSD Symptoms in Wind Breaker
This is a lot to take in, I know.
But after all these years of undiagnosed and untreated mental health disorders and illnesses, I finally started seeing the light.
My Journey of Healing
This is where my journey of healing started.
I started taking different medications almost monthly to get the right combination of medicines and dosage. After being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, I decided to research more about this mental health illness.
I learned that Bipolar Disorder is a disability.
Meaning, that just like a physical disability where one needs to use a wheelchair, Bipolar Disorder needs a mental wheelchair as well, which in this case, is the medicine.
In short, I cannot live without medicine.
Living with Bipolar Disorder
The reason for this is that bipolar disorder is based on my brain's natural way of managing chemicals.
Unlike a person without bipolar disorder, my brain naturally has extreme highs (Mania) and extreme lows (Depression), there is no "normal" in between.
The medicine is there to lessen the extreme-ness of it, so I can be more stable and function properly.
Taking medicine was a huge step in my healing.
A Word of Caution for Psychiatric Medicine
However, if I were to suggest to someone who has a mental illness, I recommend seeking help from a psychologist or a therapist first, before trying to take medication.
This is because there are still cons of taking medication, like:
- Withdrawal symptoms if you don't take your medication on time
- Side effects if the medication you are taking is still in the experimental stage.
But I am not stopping you from trying out Psychiatric sessions and medicine.
Better Functionality
While I was taking medication, I finally felt that I could function much better than the years before.
This meant that I could actively pursue things now.
And that's what I did.
My Happiness was Brought Back
I started to indulge again in the activities I once lost passion for due to depression, like watching anime, reading books, drawing, and making music.
Because of this, I also decided to actively heal--healing in other aspects and take steps to move forward.
Not only did I gain the strength to heal actively, but I felt like my happiness was finally returning as if the clock was rewinding to the time before I felt depressed.
The healing wasn't always linear. Before finding the right medication (dosage and combination), I relapsed a lot and I experienced withdrawal symptoms when I cold turkey-ed my medications (this wasn't done on purpose.)
The ups and downs of it are what makes it scary.
Which is why, it was very much important that I had my emotional support systems present.
Nonetheless, my Psychiatrist and I reached a point where we found the right combination and dosage after a lot of trial and error. This was around early this year, 2024.
But even before that, in relapses and lows, I still experienced "normal" energy and mood levels from time to time. This was around 2021 - 2022.
My Self-Improvement and Personal Growth Journey
During the time of relapses, lows, and occasional "normal" energy and mood levels, I started my journey in Self-Improvement.
I started by reading self-help books like Atomic Habits, which helped me start building tiny habits that resulted in profound changes in my life.
In addition to this, I read 7 Habits of Highly Effective People which is my favorite self-help book. It teaches various habits that a proactive person has and how one is not defined by his environment but is defined by one's very being.
Another in my reading list was The Laws of Human Nature. This was a fun read because I got to realize more about myself in terms of the emotional mind.
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living is a classic that I read as well. This book taught me techniques and gave me reasons to not worry about things.
(By the way, if you decide to buy from our affiliate links, we will be earning a commission with no extra cost to you :D)
My Anime Journey
So, aside from reading famous self-help books, I also watched anime.
Originally, I watched anime as a pastime. Nothing more, nothing less.
But as I continued to venture into the realm of anime, (no, I wasn't Isekai'd), I started to fall in love with it further.
My Hero Academia: My Favorite Anime
The anime I watched at that time was My Hero Academia. I started watching this anime back in my High School days, and since then, it has been my favorite anime of all time. Until now, 2024, it is still my favorite anime of all time.
The reason for this is that I resonated so much with Izuku "Deku" Midoriya. The ups and downs he's gone through and his character development alongside his core beliefs inspired me. His journey from Zero to Hero motivated me to keep moving forward despite the roadblocks in life.
Other Inspiring Anime
Black Clover
But My Hero Academia was just one of all the anime I watched.
Another was Black Clover, which was very similar to My Hero Academia in the way that it inspires the viewers to persevere through lows and to say "Hey, it's alright to feel down sometimes"
Demon Slayer
Now I'm inspired by anime series like Demon Slayer. I resonated with this anime because of the amazing sibling love Tanjiro and Nezuko have. It reminds me of me and my brothers, who are my main emotional support systems.
Not only that, but Demon Slayer's action hyped me up. I love the techniques they use for combat, which I related to personalized real-life techniques that I could use for my mental health. An example is their breathing techniques which I related to real-life breathing techniques for anxiety.
Wind Breaker
Now, in 2024, with new anime being released, one caught my attention. This is the anime, Wind Breaker.
This is one of my new favorite anime.
I relate a lot to the main character, Sakura Haruka, and I learned and realized so many new things from watching this anime.
For example, things like social skills, love for one another, realizing trauma, and more!
This anime digs deep into a person's soul in my opinion.
Aside from these anime series, I watched a lot more which I won't be mentioning here but will mention in other blog posts instead since this post is starting to get too long.
Anyway, with all those great anime that I watched, I started to be fueled with motivation and inspiration.
Advocacy and Passion: No Capes, Just Real Growth
Then it clicked.
I realized I loved anime; I loved helping myself, and I wanted to advocate for Mental Health.
With the tagline "No Capes, Just Real Growth," Animezin PH was born. I combined everything I loved and believed in. Real growth stems from the imperfect journey of healing.
Also, because of what I've gone through, and thanks to all my emotional support systems and the love they give, I am here now, writing to anyone who reads Animezin PH Blog, spreading genuine love and helping you guys with your imperfect journey of healing!
Advocacy Platforms: Blogging and Video Platforms
As I pursue my passion for anime and advocate for mental health, I decided to start blogging on Tumblr. I'm also currently starting up a YouTube Channel.
You can find our accounts below:
1. Tumblr Account: @animezin-ph on Tumblr
2. YouTube Channel: Animezin PH - YouTube
You can also check our Official Blog Page on our website by clicking the button below!
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